


Courageous

by tsukinoyoukai



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, eruri - Fandom
Genre: After Erwin losses his arm, Canon Universe, Drama, Erwin embarrased, Erwin suffering neuropathy, Erwin's body reacting to Levi's hand, Ignorant of their feelings, Levi bathing Erwin, Levi jealous of the lady nobles, Levi taking care of Erwin, M/M, Post rescuing Eren's mission, Romance, They are not in an stablished relationship yet, Tragedy, no major deaths, sponge bathing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-10-20 07:03:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10657386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsukinoyoukai/pseuds/tsukinoyoukai
Summary: After Erwin losses his arm Levi is feeling concerned about how scary it was for him to look at Erwin in that state. He goes to visit Erwin when he's informed he has awaken. They are talking about their days until now, then they are interrupted when Nifa needs to sponge bath Erwin, who doesn't agree since she's a young lady.In the end Erwin's body react to Levi's rubbing and then they started talking about "those feelings" they never had spoken before he lost his arm.





	Courageous

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is written while I am in a very sensitive situation. I hope this allows me to get rid of some of my sadness, since written has always being a therapy for me.  
> Sorry if my english is not the best at the current moment, I am just letting my feelings flow.

 

The days had passed and even when everyone were carrying their activities as normal as possible, even when he was dealing with papers just as much as Hange trying to relieve some of the pressure of the Survey Corps… even so…

He never thought of it, he never wanted to accept it as a reality even knowing it could had happen at any moment of their lives. He didn’t fear death, not even when he was a thin and small child without even rotten bread to eat, neither when Kenny trained his assassin skills, nor when the Military police had the order to capture him.

But he was afraid, now, and for the last days.

A knocking at his door, “Come in”, he said exhausted.

“Captain, sir, I am glad to announce our Commander has awaken”. Levi rose from his chair, looked back at the solder, left the pen on the desk.

“Thank you, you’re dismissed”. He went to Erwin’s room as soon as possible, Erwin was sit, a very tired face on him. When the blonde man noticed him, smiled softly. “So, you’re alive after all”.

“Sorry for the troubles”, Erwin said before the doctors continued.

Once they were alone they were able to talk about the current situation of the Survey Corps (the one topic Erwin asked immediately), was Eren right? how many had died? how many days did he slept? issues with the government?

“How are you?”, Levi looked at him confused.

“What?”

“You look exhausted. I am concerned about your health”.

Levi tilted his head, “Have been working along Hange, I think you can rest for a while now. You don’t have paperwork to do really…”

“You both have my gratitude”.

“Everyone here has been working hard for the Survey Corps, and for your sake also…” he knew very well why, why his throat was closed, why it was difficult to talk, “They told us that you were in the frontlines in order to recover Eren, a titan bit you and you order the soldiers to keep going for the sake of the mission… You cut your own arm, didn’t you?” Erwin smiled with a shade of sadness in his face, “You fucking suicidal bastard”.

“Sacrifices are required” Levi face serious, as always “I am replaceable Levi, Eren’s not”.

“Erwin… you’re such an idiot, can’t you think for a moment about how I…?”

A soft knock at the door, and a young dark haired woman entered the room, “I am so sorry for the interruption. Commander I shall clean you up and change your bandages”. Both of the men didn’t said a word for a moment. Levi bit his lip.

Nifa got close with an sponge and a bowl full of water, she procced to removed Erwin’s gown when the man’s hand stopped her “Commander?”

“I will do it myself”.

“B-but you’re just recovering, it’s not convenient for you to move a lot. You also have stiches which are quite tensed and if we are not careful they could…”

“I am grateful Nifa, but I find inconvenient for you to be doing this kind of activity”.

“But Sir…”

“You’re a single young lady, you shouldn’t be asked for doing this”. Nifa blushed softly.

“I… you don’t have to…”

“I will do it”. Levi took the sponge from Nifa’s hand “Be thoughtful about how Erwin feels also. No man would like to be watched like this”. The girl nod, saluted and left the room.

“I can do it myself”, Levi eyes piercing holes in him “No man would like to be watch like this”.

“What, are you that shy now? Or maybe you have no confidence in your body’s looks?” he gave the sponge, sat down and look Erwin’s movements, slow ones, dealing with the tiredness and probably the pain.

“I am missing a limb, but I still can move”. He kept on cleaning himself, from his chest to his legs, even his feet. When trying to clean what was left from his right hand, he stopped; pain in his face, electric shocks coming from his arm, probably the worst pain he had felt in his whole life, he bit his lip, his eyes full of fearful blue.

“Give me that”, Levi stood up. The commande glared at him, “Erwin”.  Finally, the blonde man let the wet sponge go. Levi closed the distance between them and started rubbing the skin, slowly and softly. Clearly Erwin was in pain but he had been injected morfine hence it was clear that this neuropathy was something he would have to slowly recover… if not condemned to live with the pain.

Levi’s face softened while finishing. “I apologize… in the end I needed your help even for something like this”.

“Don’t be ridiculous”. Levi put the sponge back in the bowl, and removed Erwin’s gown completely. “Will clean your back also”, the taller man nod. Levi started again, checking on his back; any lesion? He looked lighter, not that it was a surprise, it was normal for the body to lose weight after that kind of trauma. “You will need to be feed properly” kept cleaning “You need meat”.

“I will eat it if our patrons are generous enough”.

“I will get you meat, that’s for sure”.

“Someone is confident”.

“We are in a better position now, and some of your royal ladies will send high quality food If asked, I am pretty sure. Your cheesy words and sluttishness will pay off”.  Erwin laughed softly, Levi smiled.

“You make it sound as a complain”. Levi stopped his rubbing. “I had no idea you feel jealously”. A caress on his back which advance to his missing arm. “Levi?”

“I do”.

The commander was perplexed, “What did you say…?”. Levi’s hand was retired, he gave Erwin the sponge.

“Clean your privates”. He turned his back on Erwin. “I don’t think you will like me to, especially in your state”. Erwin looked at this lower body.

“Dammit”.

“Thought so”.

“I apologize, I didn’t realize. I am sorry Levi, for you to see me in this state”.

“I don’t care”, he looked at the window, raining was falling. “I am a man, I know how a cock works”.

“I didn’t mean…”

Levi looked back for a moment, “I know Erwin, don’t mind it”. It was then that Erwin started cleaning the last part of his body. It was pretty obvious that Erwin was uncomfortable, was it because of him? Was it because he was listening or was it because it has been he (while sponge bathing him) had produced the blonde’s erection?

He listened movement from the bed, turned back and looked how Erwin was curved, in clearly pain again “Going to bring the doctor back”.

“No”. Levi started walking, “I told you to not” the raven-haired man glared at him.

“You’re in fucking pain, you are missing an arm and have just woken up; shut up, I am going to bring the doctor…”

“This is an order, y-you stay”. Levi surprised, he could see the man holding his right shoulder, while biting his lips, his eyes closed and his body curved.

“But…” he quieted. Waiting until Erwin recovered from it. When the commander was better, he simply sat straight, his head tilted back. He could listen Levi walking towards him, he felt when the captain sat on the bed.

“I apologize, it’s just that I don’t want them to increase the dose, if they do I will sleep again and…” a warm hand on his lower body. He opened his eyes and looked how Levi had just started stroking him. “Levi what do you think you’re doing?”

“Jerking you off”. He said with a low voice.

“I know what you’re doing. I meant you should not be doing it”.

“I was scared”. Erwin opened his mouth, clearly decided to protest when a wave of pleasure ran through his body. “I was really scared…” Erwin looked at him, clouded eyes, his teeth clearly visible while biting his lips trying to not let a sound out. “Yes, I feel jealous of those women who are always clinging on you, but that’s ok”. Levi got close to Erwin’s face. “I thought I will never see you again, never speak to you again... thought you were a goner when they brought you here”. He looked Erwin in the eyes. “Do you have a fucking idea of how scary is to have this kind of feelings for a fucking suicidal bastard like you?”  Levi’s had kept moving until the larger man finished. His hand wettened, disgustingly.

Erwin sigh, breathless “I… You never spoke a word…”

“Why would I?” Levi let go Erwin’s privates. “Now you’re fucking alive, one arm missing but alive”. He looked at this hand. “Tch, gross”.  Suddenly Erwin’s hand caught his nape. “Oi…” A soft kiss, too shy. Clear blue and courageous eyes looking into his. Levi felt the heat rising up his face. Erwin’s hand slipped to Levi’s shoulder. “What the hell… do you think you’re…?”

“To think of you watching me like that, who knows for how long.” Levi angered.

“The hell? If you’re pitying me, don’t you dare touch me aga…” Erwin kissed him again.

“It is me I am pitying at this moment”. A melancholic expression on his face, Levi watching without comprehending “You know? Mike was always telling me to let you know how I feel about you… Now Mike’s dead, and I will never fly as before”.

“Erwin”.

“Just how many days I have missed at your side until now?” Levi’s face conflicted. “I just have nothing anymore to offer you.”

“I don’t care, I never cared. I offered up my heart for your ambitions, use me as your weapon; I will make your ambitions come true”.

“Levi, I am going out of the walls”.

“Are you insane?”

“I know it very well, my body will never be balanced again, I will never be able to combat as before”. He caressed Levi’s cheek “It is too late now, even if we share these feelings it will be unfair for you, my days are counted”. Levi eyes sharp as steel.

“I will be the one to decide that”. He hit Erwin’s forehead with his own, looking him straight. “If you’re ok with me at your side, then I am the one who will decide if walking beside you or not”. Surprise on Erwin’s eyes “You took away my life from the underground, you gave me a motive for keeping on when Isabel and Farlan died; you will not decide for me this time”.

Erwin’s eyes closed. “It is inconvenient for me that you see me in this state…” he felt tears escaping of his control.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you have enjoyed it a little. Feel free to leave any feeback.  
> You can find me on tumbrl here: tsukinoyoukai.tumblr.com/


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